Touch of Healing Blog

Its Friday, and quite unexpectedly for September, the sun is shining and it is warm and breezy and I have just come back from  teaching a yoga class. I had not  expected to be teaching any yoga, though I got my qualifications last year, it had been my intention to work on my own practice. I spend alot of time working to bring balance to the lives of others and so I had thought that the yoga might be my way of calming my very busy brain.

However, when I made the decision back in February this year to do the trek to base camp everest, I had to think of ways of raising money for the British Heart foundation, and amongst many other ideas a friend of mine, suggested I begin the classes. Having started one class, a student asked if I might consider doing a second.

Almost 6 months on, from beginning the first class and adding two more classes, I regularly get comments like “my posture is so much better” and “I couldnt sit cross legged, without feeling completely contorted, now I do it without thinking and its comfortable”. There are many more encouraging comments and what comes across is the huge benefit these students feel physically but also mentally and emotionally. “I feel so much calmer” ” I dont react as quickly, and so I feel less stressed” “I have so much more energy, and yet I dont feel like I have exercised, the stretches feel like such a release”.

These comments are wonderful to hear, but this morning one of my ladies handed me a card as we entered the class. I looked at her and said, “its not my birthday, or my anniversary or any kind of special occasion, what’s this for?” and she said “just because…”

(Getty Images, Watermark Publishing Ltd)

Intrigued I opened the card immediately and when I saw it….it made me smile…….

In the Wednesday class, we had been transitioning through two yogic postures, which are depicted in this black and white picture of yesteryear. Its not the picture itself but the thought, which compelled her to brign it and I’m sure she had no idea she was doing anything substantial. My reaction was to feel touched, but more importantly appreciated.

When I got back it set me thinking. As I teach them, they learn. It isnt just that they show me how well they listen, or how well they interpret instruction. It isnt that they come in every week, eager to have a go and give themselves up to progress, but that in doing these things, they give me something too.

Purpose, worth and value to ones existence is something we all search for at some time or another in our lives. Our purpose or dharma might never make itself clear, through our constant wanting of a better life, a better car or home, better social contacts, more money, and we tend to calculate our worth and value by these possessions and by the interactions with our loved ones, who, though they profess to love us, often dont have the maturity or wisdom to show it in their behaviour.

All of us are guilty at some time or another of not paying quite enough attention to the efforts of our nearest and dearest, or of telling them how much we value their part in our lives. There are the few who have a very grounded attitude to life and loved ones, but for those who do not, wouldnt it be nice to be appreciated yourself, and if the law of karma is valid then surely if you show appreciation to others wouldn’t that mean you would receive that gift also.

The delicate balance of life means that when we give we should also receive and that to receive is as important as giving. There is power in feeling worthy and valued and if each of us felt this how uplifted would our existence be? If one lives in an existence of “no one appreciates me”, then how does anyone else understand how valuable your contribution to life is.

As with all things it begins within. Cultivating the seeds of our desired outcome first in ourselves, will encourage others to suddenly see, measure and value us. There are always going to be the arrogant, self obsessed brothers, sisters, mums, dads, grandparents etc., who cannot look beyond their own selfishness, but  isnt inner growth and ultimately self empowerment, about rising above the flaws of such characteristics, loving despite not getting what you need, but then adopting an attitude of “happiness is within me”.

Anyone who has begun walking the path of enlightenment, will understand the turmoil they leave in their wake. Family members who have gotten used to you doing as they told you, and then when you dare to venture towards a goal for yourself, you become selfish and thoughtless. You are changed and not in a good way, made to feel guilty and bad, when actually you are saying “I’m unhappy, I love you but I just wish you would love me enough to consider my feelings and understand I need to be my own person, and fullfill my own dreams and aspirations. I dont want to make you feel bad, like Im neglecting you, but in considering your feelings and your wants, I am losing me and its leaving a huge void in my life, which I dont myself understand, but could really use your support in understanding, please help me”.

I know people who would describe this way of thinking as ‘humbug’, but ask someone who has felt these things, they wouldnt need convincing of the importance of showing appreciation towards others.

Appreciation is not always patting someone on the back and saying well done, or even thankyou. Its about valuing them and showing that, what they give to you is worthwhile, that you see it and feel it and somehow, someway you want that person to know through your behaviour and actions how much, what they give to you, means to them. Appreciation isn’t about big empty gestures, its often about the smallest and least costly of things. Today, I feel I experienced the power of being appreciated, and knowing how good it made me feel, I would hope to make others feel the same way.

Thankyou for reading

Shehnaz

Its often difficult to pin point what troubles us and robs us of much needed sleep and rest and other times we know exactly what the problem is, but cannot see a clear way to resolving that issue and so we worry and fret over it.

That thing, situation, circumstance or event to which we give our undivided attention ultimately grows in stature. It stands to reason that if that thing is positive, constructive and quality giving to our lives then we benefit immensely. We learn and grow from the experience and perhaps we even develop a degree of wisdom which we can carry through to other things.  But what happens when the opposite is true and the thing, situation, circumstance or event is negative, demoralizing and saps us of vitality, strength and reduces our spirit too?

There are factors in the lives of many of us, which from time to time  fit into that latter category, and taking the ‘glass half full attitude’ is wonderful in theory, but trying to put it into practice and integrate it as a way of being is not as easy as it sounds, because we are creatures of emotion, and those little chemical molecules which bomb around inside our neurology and  throughout our bodies, can be unpredictable and for those of us with volatile natures, often they strip us of self control.

Meditation and meditatory practices like yoga and T’ai chi, and believe it or not the islamic form of prayer, can stabilise the mind and draw our attention from the millions of unsavoury thoughts we can tend towards and help focus us inward. Inward focus is the key to calm and command of an otherwise unruly mind.

Wisdom is knowing, but knowing is sometimes helpless when we are faced with certain concerns. I have talked a great deal in my website articles, in  recent weeks, about stress and its effects. The stress of difficult decisions and the stress of dealing with personalities in your own environment who lack thought, understanding and basic human empathy are the kind of things which face us human beings from time to time and are cause for a troubled mind. The worries which are closest to our hearts are the ones which have the most profound effect upon us. The question is what do we do to give a troubled mind restful peace? We turn for advice from others only to discover that because their opinions differ from our own, we can have their ideals forced upon us. We have within us the answers to the questions we ourselves ask and those to whom we turn to for advice, could put themselves into our shoes, feel our feelings and then offer their opinion from a place of impartial understanding and we might feel as if we are not alone, or as if we have been helped. Its quite sad that this level of compassion is only usually available to us from professionals, who are removed from our lives, and are bound by rules.

A troubled mind, needs understanding, not judging. A troubled mind needs space, free of the opinions of others. A troubled mind needs to hear “we hear you, its ok to feel the way you feel, no matter what your decision, the important thing is that you deal with what  concerns you in a way which feels right and comfortable for you and all you have to know is that when all is said and done, there is a hug, and a huge amount of love waiting for you when you have done what you have to do.” How beautiful would be the ideal……….

Thankyou for reading